Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
