Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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