I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
