I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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