Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Randomize
