Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
