You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
