Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
