i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
