I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
