Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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