From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
