I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
