I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
