Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I think i got beer on your cat.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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