I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
