and i looked up. we had an audience...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize