i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
