he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
