question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
