Nicole vs. Life
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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