that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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