eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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