I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
