I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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