so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
