Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
