so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
