We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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