Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
