how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
should my penis look like a turkey
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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