I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
