that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
