We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
