How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
