that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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