I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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