I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
