i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
