so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She just used a chaser for red wine.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
