There is no way he is gay with that hair.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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