it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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