trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
