i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
