Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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