I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
