how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
