I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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