Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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