Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
that's an acceptable place to lick
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
