My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
