No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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