Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
