She is in my trunk
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
